Profile: Pa L Surgery: Post Op Baden, PA, USA Personal Comments I am a 43 year old mother of 2 special needs adopted children, ages 14 and 11. I have been obese throughout childhood and morbidly obese throughout most of my adulthood. I come from an obese family and we're all diabetic. I am so tired of being disabled from this weight, not being able to move or keep up with the children, not being able to use my gifts and talents because I'm in pain or humiliated by my appearance. I know if I do nothing I will be dead before 50 and that would be a grave injustice for me to do to my children. 9/8/04 I have a consultation with Dr. Richard Oakley on 9/27/04. I feel that DS is the right surgery for me, anticipate BCBS PPO will not be cooperative (they will approve RNY or Lapband, not DS). I have an appointment with endocrinologist on 9/14 and will be given heck for another weight gain. I'm so tired of being treated like a weak-willed child. See my PCP 9/9 and will also advise her of my plan. I expect that she will be supportive, has always been somewhat compassionate but concerned about the comorbidities. I find myself daydreaming about what my life would be like if I were not 360 pounds...the freedom of movement, the energy, being able to "fit in" society, clothes that feel comfortable and are fashionable instead of uncomfortably tight and "tent like", possibly eliminating diabetes and high cholesterol, possible freedom from arthritis pain, herniated discs, fibromyalgia, possible improvement from diabetic neuropathy. I am realistic to realize that this is serious surgery and could possibly kill me but I am firmly convinced that I can no longer live this way and will do whatever it takes to get the weight off once and forall. I'd like to have a tool that will actually work and give me some results for the effort. I am not lazy, gluttonish, uncaring or indifferent...I DO know how awful I look and feel and yes I DO know I will die soon if I continue down this path. My mind is made up and my heart is set on change for a new life and new tomorrow. My Lord promises Abundant life and while I can renew my mind and heart through the Spirit, to have truly abundant life I need to be physically free from this prison I have been carrying around all my life. I want to keep a record of my thoughts and feelings for the days ahead so I can remember how bad this is. how hopeless, disgusted, angry, frustrated, frightened, depressed and worthless I feel as a morbidly obese woman. God be with me. 05/30/05 I have had a lot happen this past year. Dr. Oakley could not work with me because he is not a Medicare participant and my secondary insurance is Medicare (I wish his staff would have told me before I drove almost 6 hours to see him). He submitted to Blue Cross who, of course, immediately denied me. Then my husband, who has had problems with depression in the past, went into a severe clinical depression and lost his job. Through litigation, he got it back and started back to work in January 2005. During that time, I did the best that I could not to gain any additional weight because I knew when life settled down I'd start to fight again. I called today to schedule a consultation with Dr. Peters in Peckville PA for the end of June and I am determined to get on with this. My health continues to deteriorate and although my depression is controlled with Wellbutrin, I am convinced that significant success through weight loss will help with self-esteem and physical problems that are causing the depression. I'll keep yins ( a Pittsburgh term meaning the plural of you) posted. 6/1/05 In the interim of awaiting DS, I'm going to weight watchers to (1) be accountable for my food intake and stabilize my blood sugars before surgery (2) demonstrate a discipline for following a food plan and (3) keep on top of my weight instead of crossing my fingers whenever I go to the doctor (and stand on one foot and take off my shoes and empty my pockets...you know the drill...) anyway, a new member came tonight and is probably more than 400 lbs. She looked mortified and humiliated and I wanted so much to tell her about this website so she could have hope that she doesn't have to "fail" again and repeat the perpetual cycle of dieting, failure, weight gain, self-hating...I hope she comes back, I'd like to befriend her because I have about 160 pounds to loose and I know weight watchers ain't going to do it, no matter how hard I try. Because of several endocrine disorders that have severe obesity as a symptom, a "diet" won't do it. I'm finally free of the oppressive cycle that has held me down and I can finally say that I'm not a diet failure, diets fail me. What a difference!! 6/8/05 The waiting is so hard! Doin weight watchers in the interim and it is not working (not suprising). Did not go tonight because at this "time of the month" I know I've gained...I've got the water-balloon feet and swollen hands to prove it. I find myself feeling resentful toward people who have 25 pounds or less to loose to get to goal weight and their weight does respond to diet and exercise. At my size, I'd be a weight watcher for life. I need to keep my hope alive and stay determined to let nothing hold me back, this is my only chance at improving my quality of life...God grant me courage! 6/23/05 Had my consultation with Dr. Peters 6/20/05. He was very encouraging, stated I would be an "excellent candidate" for this surgery and although he cannot promise I'd loose one pound, we did discuss how this could reverse my diabetes and co-morbids. From my previous experience, I contacted Gary Viscio for legal representation to appeal the denial I know is coming from Blue Cross/Blue Shield. I have learned that he was able to get another Pennsylvania BC/BS patient's denial reversed for the DS with my surgeon. So now the "hurry up and wait" game begins. I'm in prayer for wisdom about whether I want to go ahead and pay privately to proceed and then sue for reimbursement or just play the waiting games with Blue Cross which could take a year or more. We are not wealthy people and my husband's job situation is very stressful. He'd really like to quit to go into business with another friend from church and they have opened a shop together. I can think of several sources of potential funds to try and pull this off, but it would leave my family up against the wall financially and that makes me very uneasy. About 3 years ago, I was seeing a "holistic" nutritionist/chiropractor to loose weight and help with severe peripheral neuropathy pain. I was required to pay upfront and they were going to submit to my insurance for "reimbursement". I never saw a check and after almost 6 months found out they never sent anything in! When they did, everything was denied and by that point I'd put out almost 14 thousand dollars for a treatment that did not work. I know the DS will work, but we're still finishing paying off the credit card bill from that fiasco and I don't want to be "suckered" again. I want this tool, I know I can make it work. I've gone on restricted food programs before only to regain the weight when I began to eat normally again, this is different with the malabsorption component. I know I will never "eat normally" again, however I do not eat like a pig or junk food...I eat healthy food but cannot metabolize or process it properly. A cure to diabetes seems like a dream to me...I hate this disease with all that I am! Please God, help me! 9/4/05 I finally bit the bullet and went self-pay. The latest Blue Cross game was to demand a 6 month diet and exercise program supervised by my physician, despite her appeal letter outlining 8 years of diet and exercise programs...because they were not 6 consecutive months of recorded data in my medical record, they didn't"count". My life and remaining health are too precious to play around anymore with these b*stards. I have also heard rumors from several folks that as of 1/1/06, BC/BS will not pay for any weight loss surgery, so even if I were to start the 6 month placation, I would not have enough time in before they eliminated my coverage. I have a date of September 13, 2005. All of this is pending biopsy results from my endoscopy on August 26. I am getting anxious, not so much nervous, but I just want to get on with it! Hopefully I'll be posting next time after surgery to say how great I'm doing!! September 30, 2005 Well, I'm switched. I had an open Duodenal Switch on September 13 at Community Medical Center in Scranton, PA. The nurses could not have been nicer and were very attentive. The worst experience was being very afraid of the "bari bed" that folds like a recliner for you to get out, I was afraid it would dump me onto the floor!! My back hurt very bad from lying on it and it was hard to move in the bed because the railings were really far apart...I got creative using my feet to "hoist" myself, but it actually was a relief to get out of that thing and walk or sit in the chair. I stayed in the Eastern PA area with my sister until the 27th when I was able to drive home. It is so good to be home, I really missed my son and husband!! I feel really good. I take about 1 small cat nap early afternoon before Joey gets in from school because he's a high maintenance kid!! The folks from our church had stocked my freezer with enough meals for almost 10 days so I do not have to cook and they helped with laundry and watching Joey after school. Folks have been so kind and supportive, although I get uncomfortable with everyone waiting for me "to get skinny". I did this for the Diabetes...I had to stop the progression of the neuropathy and stop it from stealing my eyesight. So far, my sugars are really decent and the swelling in my retinas seems to be clearing because the double vision is clearing up nicely (Praise God!!). I see my Opthmologist Oct.5, so I'll find out more then. I go back for my 1 month check up on October 20, so far I think I've lost almost 20 pounds from my last pre-op weigh-in. My pants are getting droopy and my shirts are fitting better, especially in the arms, so I think I'm loosing. I refuse to be obsessive about the scale. I spent years gaging my "worth" by the magical numbers on the scale and I know I am vulnerable to fall back into that trap. It is very hard to eat very much, it takes a long time to get in and for now I'm supplementing with "power" shakes and puddings. I feel bloated and gassy a lot of the time, but it is getting better by the day and I find that if I take my time, I can eat many things...just a few spoons at a time. I have to remind myself to eat about every 2 hours, which is new to me because I now realize how much blood sugar and food ruled my world...ie....do I feel low? Should I eat that carb with protein or fat? Did I eat too much carb? How can I get my sugar back down? Is it too low? I am so grateful for the freedom from the enslavement of the diabetes that dominated my life for the last 15 years (10 years of reactive hypoglycemia + 5 years of diabetes). So, every day it gets a bit better with my energy and stamina and eating. I feel really confident that I will do very well with this proceedure. All I can say is Thank you God for this second chance!! October 8, 2005 1 month ago yesterday I rolled into Scranton for my support group meeting and final pre-op consult. I'm feeling very well, eating is getting better the further out I get. I'm still not up to 80gm of protein a day, but consistently hitting between 50-60, so I'm confident I'll get there soon. I'm drinking about 40-50oz water a day, working to get up to 64oz. It seems I'm constantly eating or drinking, which believe it or not, is a huge change from pre-op when I would eat a large meal and then go 4-6 hours before I'd think about eating again. It's got nothing to do with appetite...I have none at this point, it's a challenge to get in the nutrients and protein. I'm down to about 305, which is about 26 pounds down from pre-op of 331 and 41 pounds down from my first weigh-in at weight watchers of 346. The heaviest I've been has been up to 360 about 14 months ago after starting on Actos for my diabetes. I kept telling the doctor I was gaining weight and he kept yelling at me for eating (grrrrrrrrrr). Funny how I dropped 25 pounds the first month he took me off of the medication without changing my eating habits!! My blood sugars are coming down, still not out of diabetic range, morning is 130-150 fasting, 2 hours post-prandial is under 150 (that's the huge difference, pre-op they'd still be over 200). The best part is absolutely NO hypoglycemic episodes...I pray they are just a bad memory from my past. So far the only bad thing is that eating is no longer an enjoyable event for me, it is frankly a chore that takes concentration and effort. I know this will get better, it has gotten better since the first week post-op, but I miss being able to graze socially or eat whatever and not consider if I can digest it yet (bad cheeseburger episode a few days ago!!!) All things considered, this is an acceptable level of inconvenience for the weight that seems to be dropping off of me. Thank you God for this second chance in life, please continue to help me through this. 10/17/05 Finally got photos on my profile. Included in the "gallery" my hubby Joe, my son Joey and daughter Courtney (with a special guest appearance by Ronald McDonald). Some of these shots are admittedly years old, but when choosing photos to send I discovered I was usually the one behind the camera. I included the one in the lower left corner as a testament to the "Big Hair 80's", although it was taken in 1991 (haha). As you can see from my most recent photo, through the years I've grown fatter and gray. I'm on my way to getting thinner, now if I can only find something that works for the gray!! Enjoy! 4/26/06 I've been lax in updating my profile! I'm almost 7 1/2 months post-op and I have lost 105 pounds from the day of surgery and 144 total from my highest weight in 7/04 of 362. I weighed in this morning at 218. I'm 18 stinking pounds from onderland and I haven't been there since probably the 6th grade or earlier (I was 6'0 tall and 210 in the 7th grade). I'd like to settle in around 180 or 185 and anticipate, with God's good blessing, that I'll be looking to have some tucking and excess skin removed within the next few years. I am thrilled beyond description with the results. My last HgA1C=5.2, no longer within diabetic range. My thyroid continues to be problematic, although I suspect after I finish with loosing weight, I will setlle into a better medication regime to control that. The only downer right now is that after a traffic accident in January, I was forced to resign my job due to back and neck injuries and have been unable to go back to work. We really could have used the extra income, but I trust that God has a way for me and patience has never been my strong suit! I could not have imagined how good I would look and great I would feel after the DS and only regret I did not discover this path in my 20's when I could have been able to get pregnant...at 44 I think my days are over! 7/31/06 I think I've managed to screw up the order of things here, it just occurred to me that I entered earlier entries below this mark...sorry! Anyway, this is a HUGE DAY for me! I weighed in at 187 this morning and have a NORMAL BMI of 24.6 for the first time in my life. I am 2 pounds from my personal goal of 185. I will need to consider plastics, I'd like to get a breast reduction and lift, TT and brachioplasty at the very least. I'm not encouraged by what I have heard about the thigh lift and lower body proceedures as of date, but if I can get something done there, it would be helpful because I was always very heavy thighed and hips! I have bummy wrinkles from my deflated butt that can be tucked away, but frankly can be painful when sitting on a hrd chair for any period of time! To think I paid all this money to get rid of my butt padding and now have to purchase a butt pad!! Go figure!! Anyway, I'm thrilled beyond description and my life has been transformed beyond my best expectations!! It is a daily process to keep up the nutrition and vitamins, but it is so worth it to be done with diabetes (my latest HgA1C was 4.7) and restored my energy, mobility and health! 8/04/06 I saw Dr. Peters on Wednesday 8/2 for my "1 year" follow-up. I have to get my protein and vitamin A up (not horrible, but a little bit low). I plan to keep ontop of those things before deficiency sets in and causes problems. I hit my goal of 187 and have a normal BMI of 24.6. My next goal is to see about getting a breast reduction and lift and tummy tuck for my back and neck. Dennis Hurwitz is in my back yard and is nationally known for his lift technique, so I'm thinking I'll start there. Hopefully with my back and neck injuries, I may get insurance coverage, so that would be very helpful, otherwise there is no way on earth we could afford this (we're still digging out from credit card debt from my surgery almost 1 year ago that my accident prevented me from paying off after I lost my job!) This past year has been surreal, the physical transformation has been beyond my wildest dreams and the mental/emotional revelations have been painful and frightening at times, but also liberating and empowering to know that I do have a choice and I can make changes...having the DS being like the beginning of a domino effect of positive change in my life. I'm hoping to update my photos, my "latest" was almost 80 pounds ago at 260 and my body and even my face look alot different now. The high tech stuff is intimidating to me, so I need to get help from my teenage son and hubby to get new photos online! (I feel like an old fart!!) 8/29/06 I just returned from a 10 day tour of England and had the best vacation of my life! I am so grateful for the DS and the 181 pounds lost (from all time high in 7/04) and I know there's NO WAY I could have done this at my heaviest weight! The cars and most accomodations were tiny and I fit beautifully. I had energy to sightsee and walk for hours and hours each day. I could climb stairs without problems ( most Mideval structures are NOT equiped with elevators or escalators!!) I think the best part of the trip was the acknowledgement that I can "FIT" in the world and take my place in society. I did not have to hide or apologize for my bulk or worry about breaking furniture. We stayed in a lovely countryside home that belonged to friends of our best friends. It was very traditional English country with small delicate wooden furniture and I had no problems. Even the shower stalls are very tight (no space is wasted in a country of 10 million). I got to experience what I only freamed of for years and it was deliciously awesome. I also managed to loose 7 pounds while feasting on meat pies, cream cakes, scones and flake (chocolate shavings in a bar, decadent!). I think it was probably due to the fact that we walked at least 5-7 miles daily taking in the sights (my legs reminded me every night!) If I were struck down today (God forbid) I would be content to have experienced this pinacle in my life. The memories of this trip will be a smile to my lips and a song to my heart for a lifetime! Now to scrape together some more $$$ to return, and this time we're flying first class!! I'm too tall for "coach" or "cattle" as hubby calls it. The DS has NOT made me shorter (I'm 6'1). 9/13/06 Today is my 1st Re-birthday and certainly a reason to celebrate LIFE! I'm down 150 pounds, my health is so much better than before, I've eliminated that damned diabetes and I'm off all meds for it. I feel like I've been emancipated from the prison that was my body and set free to life as I was intended to live! I still do have severe neuropathy and I am still disabled...however, the 150 pound loss makes functioning and movement so much easier, I'm not constantly worried about breaking an ankle while walking! I have energy, I can move freely, I look darned good in clothes, I have confidence and most all, a deep respect and gratitude for the body that I have and the health that's been restored...I cannot emphasize enough the precious gift of health and life... and you cannot appreciate that until you've lost it! Today I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world to have reclaimed that health! Profile spruced up by.. 10/13/05 If you'd like your profile spruced upwrite to one of the HTML Volunteer�s here: 1/2/06 Happy New Year everyone! I am down to 265 from 331 before surgery and 346 in May of 2005. I am currently in a 1X and a size 18 jeans from a size 26-28 and a 3X. I have started back to work full-time. I love the job, but the fatigue and housework are a bit overwhelming...but the salary is sweet! Healthwise, I'm doing pretty well...thank God! Off all diabetes medicine and my last A1C from December 5 was 6.2, down from 7.4 in August of 2005. My thyroid is really sluggish again (which may explain the fatigue) but the MD wants to wait it out during the rapid weight loss cycle before playing with medications. The change in my appearance is overwhelming and I catch myself staring into mirrors and "posing" with amazement that I can look this good. Shopping for clothing has been overwhelming and more than once I have been in tears because of the joy of being able to have a selection and have something look good on me, instead of grabbing whatever fits. I can easily fit into restaurant booths, movie seats and chairs with arm rests. I can move easily and bend to tie shoe laces or pick up things from the floor. I am so grateful to have had this DS surgery. This is more wonderful than my wildest dreams and it can only get better as the pounds come off. I will definitely need some tucking in the future, especially my chest is very saggy, but I'll deal with that when I hit a stable weight and can save up the cash (hence the job is sweet!!). 7/03/06 Well...life throws curve balls! I lost my job February after being in a serious accident mid-January in which I sustained serious back and neck injuries. My employer was unwilling to allow me the time I needed to heal properly (I was in intensive therapy until April, chiropractor 2-3x a week up until June and still will require surgery on my neck in the future). I am left with balance and constant dizziness problems as well as ringing in both ears and constant pain. Thank God I did not sustain this at 362 pounds!!!!! I am down to 196 at this date, about 11 pounds from my goal of 185 pre-plastic surgery. I am wearing a size 10-12 although clothing sizes are weird because I have a lot of excess skin and my chest is really saggy! I went from a 46 J bra to a 38DD, but still have the deflated skin. I can wrap my thighs around themselves, my arms fold in half and my tummy just sits like a lump under my clothes. Sigh...I may be able to at least get a chest lift and TT covered by insurance because of the extent of my back injuries...isn't it disgusting that's how these things work?! My last HgA1C was 5.2 off all medications except synthroid, which I will take for life. I take my vitamins and supplements religiously, I do not take for granted the second chance at life I've been given. I am disappointed that our sex-life has not taken off as a rocket, hubby still suffers from clinical depression and diabetes and most nights falls into bed exhausted. Perhaps that is affirmation that his withdraw was not my weight, my weight was a symptom. (We had a therapist suggest that all of our marital problems could be because "you're not a size 10"...well, now that I am, we're still having problems, so there!!) I love this man and I understand that this could be as good as it gets for me...beyond the limited physical intimacy, he's a wonderful guy, caring, sensitive, loving, generous, hard working, great character, honest...geez, what's not to love!! I also know if the shoe were on the other foot (and it has been throughout our marriage) I would feel betrayed and devastated if he decided to leave. It's not to say that I do not challenge him to grow and change to be the best that he can, it's to say that I love and accept him as he is. I am deeply disturbed and frightened by all the post-op DS marriages that end in divorce and I'm determined not be among the statistic. This requires very serious heart change and head work. Some of the lies that have been exposed int he physical transformation process have been shocking, but it has been tremendous and so worth all I went through to get to this point. I would and have recommended this to many people, especially with diabetes and insulin resistance. Surgeon Info: William S. Peters (Peckville, PA) I liked Dr. Peters. He was a no nonsense guy and answered all of my questions. His friendly style and dry sense of humor put me at ease. Robbie is excellent and I felt like she'd go the extra mile to help me. Dr. Peters expects that you will have done your research and know what you want and what your expectations are. He expects you to be accountable and responsible for doing your part to make thius successful. I have recommended him to a few people in this area looking for the DS. Insurer Info: Blue Cross PPO Highmark Blue Cross Blue Shield has been a nightmare. They are intentionally vague and passive aggressive in providing you with the information necessary to get a medical review and make you ask a million questions to get basic information out of them. The biggest recommendation I have to others is get yourself a baracuda of an attorney because these people are sharks!